Choose Your Words Wisely

 

President Calvin Coolidge was known for being a man of few words. His preference for not speaking earned him the nickname “Silent Cal.” His wife Grace told a story about a White House dinner party in which a young lady was seated beside the President. She told Coolidge that she made a bet with her friend that she could get him to say at least three words during dinner. 

 

“You lose,” Coolidge said, without even looking up from his plate, and he didn’t speak another word during the course of the meal. Talk about choosing your words wisely! Coolidge didn’t say much, but when he did, he tried to make his words count. 

 

Some speak more than others, but on average people say about 7,000 words a day. Whether you are on the top end of that number, or whether you are closer to Silent Cal, you should still choose your words wisely. That is what David wanted to do. He once wrote, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer (Psalm 19:14).” 

 

A great question to ask is, “Are my words acceptable in God’s sight?” Sometimes we deem things as unacceptable. A parent tells their child their behavior is unacceptable, or a teacher tells a student the assignment they turned in is unacceptable. I would hate to know that God found my words to be unacceptable. That assessment is probably true of all of us from time to time, but for some their overall speech patterns are unacceptable. 

 

Crude words are unacceptable, and Paul said, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification…(Ephesians 4:29).” Dishonest words are unacceptable, and Solomon said, “These six things the Lord hates…a proud look, a lying tongue (Proverbs 6:16-17).” Blasphemous words are unacceptable, and Moses wrote, “You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain (Exodus 20:7).” 

 

Some might wonder what the big deal is. How can words uttered into the air really be a problem? For starters, our words reveal a heart issue; if we are losing our temper and saying angry things, those words are just symptoms of a worse problem. But another reason to choose our words carefully is that they are a reflection of the God we serve. If we are liars, the world will not trust us when we tell them they need Jesus. When we are crude, they will not think they need Jesus if Jesus hasn’t cleaned us up. When we blaspheme, they won’t think Jesus is special to us. 

 

The words we say matter to God because they can turn people off to Him. You don’t have to be Silent Cal, but please choose your words wisely. 

 

A Tangled Web

Dr. Charles Lowry, a pastor, psychologist, and author, has written about the behavior patterns of those who practice deception. He shared a humorous story about a lady that bumped into him at a grocery store when he was a pastor in Dallas. She raved about what a great man of God he is, and as her proof she cited that her husband has to be at work at 6:30 AM, and he drove by the church on his way and saw the pastor’s car already in the parking lot. This lady thought her pastor was so spiritual for being at the church so early.

Faced with a decision, Dr. Lowry humbly thanked her for the compliment and chose not to tell her that he had carpooled home with his wife the night before and that she drove him to the church that morning at 9:00. That moment of deception led him to continue digging himself into a deeper hole.

He became worried that if his car was not in the parking lot at 6:30 each morning, he would not appear to be as spiritual. After all, he is a great man of God. He began to use his energy to find ways to leave his car at the church over night more often, using his wife and the youth pastor as his chauffeurs. His strange behavior began to alienate the pastor from those around him, and his important duties were being neglected in pursuit of the impression of holiness.

While I imagine that story was embellished for comedic effect, the principle applies. When we practice deception we waste so much time and mental energy trying to keep up the lie. We often engage in strange behavior during this charade, alienating ourselves from the people around us. It is so much easier to just come clean, but we often times delay the process in our stubbornness.    

In his poem Marmion, Walter Scott famously wrote, “Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.” The deceiver expends his energy having to remember what he has told everyone, and before long, he has himself tangled in a web of his own lies.

The Bible offers a simpler way of living. It is called honesty. Not only is it the Ninth Commandment, Colossians 3:9 further instruct, “ Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices.” Honesty is not the best policy, it should be the only policy.